Afternoon my lovelies, unfortunately I have had to cut short my stay in my little chalet up the corner of the hotel car park as I was feeling rather under the weather so with the kind assistance from the lovely Mr M who vertically packed me up and put me in my car so I could go home. Where would I be without you!!

I have been pondering recently whether you (or rather me) is able to have a successful personal/romantic relationship with someone when you i participate in this kind of occupation? What kind of partner accepts what you (or I) do? I understand these answers rather depends on individual concerned but it would be lovely to hear of stories where this is actually possible.

For the past fourteen years I have been participating in my “not so secret” occupation I have virtually been single apart from my brief entanglement with Mr McTwat (and we saw how that turned out). For those who are not aware of what happened, I met him NOT on the AW site so he had no idea what I did and after a few months I felt that it was Important for him to be aware of what I do so as to “make or break” the relationship, so I told him. At first he seemed to accept it and was curious to know more about what actually was involved and what kind of men seek the services from us etc then for various unrelated reasons I decided that I did not want to pursue the relationship and suggested we just remained friends. It was then, that unbeknown to me, he made the decision to share my AW profile details and pictures with certain members of my “f****y” nice eh!! To my surprise they both accepted my “not so secret” occupation and this is when I decided to use the hotel to see clients rather than see them at home so as to save anyone’s embarrassment.

But I’ve been thinking, I would have thought that if you were able to undertake a romantic relationship with someone they would either start out being a client or you would have to “come clean” and tell them. I mean although this profession has been around for hundreds of years, sex is still such a taboo subject or rather paying for such services is. In my mind this is so outdated, especially given the current climate because at present there seems to be more singletons out there than ever, no-one goes anywhere to meet anyone, no-one can be arsed with “internet dating” and you have more chance of meeting a future partner in the freezer section of the supermarket. Also I believe you pay for what you get and it is what it says on the tin without the emotional hang ups (well sometimes it is)!!!

However escorting gets into your bones or rather psychologically it does. You begin to see “your sex” as a sort of commodity and the financial payment is sort of the reward. I know this sounds absurd but I have often felt that why should I give “my sex” away for free? I have been on dates when I could be bothered with dating when stupidly I believed that I was the “odd one out” in being single but escorting gives you confidence and empowerment and you begin to feel liberated and you either try to do things yourself or pay for someone to do them for you (or you kindly accept when someone offers to help). So I have a little dilemma to decide!!!