It’s always good to have a plan at the start of the year.  To usher out the bad energies to bring in fresh juju. Along with a post Xmas clear out, it helps to feel refreshed.  When cabin fever is kicking in, it’s time to think outside the box.

One resolution, I have, is to be more upfront with clients who have bad hygiene. Unfortunately, I’ve now had to add to my profiles, that prostate massage is not offered unless people wash first. It’s glaringly obvious to the masses, that if you’re going to get lucky, making sure you’re clean is top priority.  Seemingly, there’s a distinct lack of self awareness with the majority who request this service.  After getting the ick for, at best, stale smelling arse cracks, I’m starting to wonder why I offered prostate massage in the first place.

To top off silly season just past, when I was in the high vibrational zone, beginning a Tantric session, upon caressing my client, I realised that his Lingham looked like it had been exposed to a heavy frost.  Along with being able to smell his dinner from the previous evening. With his legs only slightly ajar. A very unpleasant realisation.  It put me off my stride & I couldn’t continue the session without feeling intense resentment towards him.  This is not what I expect from my Tantric sessions.  Needless to say, he wont be welcomed back any time soon. I can do without the nasty niff flashbacks, of fermented beef bourguignon.  

If you’re offered the bathroom & disposable wipes, to freshen up, it’s a good idea use them. I can also recommend coffee enemas for a detox flush. It’s also good for bile stimulation. Aiding with blood cleansing & efficient digestion. More of those for me. Cleansing inside & out, is the way forward to a healthier life style.  Being a fan of ancient healing practices, this is just one example of how we can clear heavy toxins & reduce our viral load. A great exilir for flu season.  In a world of chaos & extremes, getting back to ancient healing practices, is what’s needed.

Another resolution is to ignore more of the stupidity that comes through my phone. I have a list in my notes of potential copy & paste retorts. Reserved for those spiteful wind up merchants, who need to get a hobby.  Sometimes I want to play the social sciences experiment, as I call it.  Hitting someone with a snarky retort.  Correcting the boring twits who just text “hi” or Hello”. The time-wasting imbeciles, who seemingly have nothing constructive to do with their time.  Playing their childish attention seeking game, of lets see who responds the quickest & I’ll bombard them for an hour or two with mindless drivel.  On the flip side, its just teaching them how to be more duplicitous.  When people do respond, with advice on how to communicate better.  

Recently, a guy who’d been here once (for 30 minutes), started with his childish nonsense of, “hello” texts a few days later. When I challenged him, on his lack of sentence structure, his response was, “I’m trying to break the ice”.
If he’d already been here, what ice is there left to break? Why can’t people write a simple sentence? With predictive text, it’s not that mentally taxing.  I could only assume it was a basic test to see if I’d reply.  Pandering to his needless childish attention seeking, is not for me.  

Upon checking my old phone, he’d been doing it since 2021 on another number.  Which had been blocked. At least he was honest enough to give me his other number. How he didn’t realise, that he’d been blocked, is beyond the levels of delusion, that I’ll ever comprehend.  I’m not a fan of texts at the best of times, let alone wasting precious minutes of my day, responding to mindless drivel. I suspect he’s doing it to a few others too. Filling an empty void, that will never feel full.

One thing I love about my job, is the open & honest conversations I have with my guests. Whilst sometimes it can turn into a life coaching session, with those who feel compelled over share horrendous anecdotes.  Some people need to come with a trigger warning!  Enduring unsolicited graphic details, such as, road traffic accidents & other serious injuries. It sets my mind on the lets fix it mode. Instead of the creating a tranquil space to shut off mode. Whilst I do enjoy giving sympathy & wellness advice, another resolution is to avoid giving unsolicited advice & free life coaching.  I’m not paid to be a psychotherapist, for those who feel the need to (boundary push) & offload heavy life experiences onto strangers.

Whilst one of my strengths is reading the room, I have a tendency to feel overly compassionate about certain things. It can sometimes come across (to the easily butt hurt) as critiquing.  It’s never my intention, to make someone feel uncomfortable.  I may point out that someone’s rib cage is out of whack or that their spine is looking a bit squiffy.  It’s by no means a dig towards them “being different” from the rest. We are all wonky & asymmetrical.

 It seems I may have offended a few people lately, with my health & wellness advice. It’s never my intention to shame people for being a bit on the wonky side.  Most people appreciate the extra tit bit of observation & have then gone on to book other wellness treatments with people I use. If having a tight plantar fascia in one foot, triggers deep insecurities, it’s time for self reflection.

Sometimes my compassion is misunderstood in another way & interpreted as being opinionated.  There’s nothing wrong with having opinions, unless you post “antagonistic” words on social media & risk becoming a political prisoner. What crazy times we are living in.  Where you can’t speak freely without fear of offending others for an alternative mindset.   Whilst I welcome free speech & encourage people to talk freely here, It’s difficult when working from home, not to feel fully free to speak my mind. Whilst I can reign it in when needed, I often feel compelled to help & educate.

 The general consensus is, that it’s part of the ageing process. Where you become a fully integrated adult, who’s able to support fellow adults in their wellness pursuits.  I started offering massage sessions, with the intention to help people connect better with their mind & bodies.  Albeit pointing out wonkiness, can be a social faux pas it seems.  

My next resolution is to finish my training courses. I love learning new things but tend to take on too much.  Overwhelming myself with new techniques & complex information.  Scheduling isn't easy, when bookings can be short notice.  And when your time is wasted, dealing with dead end inquiries & those spiteful time-wasting freaks.  It zaps motivation.

Thankfully, a lot of my resourcefulness comes from being an inquisitive person. Finding what feels good is important. I can top myself up with ancient Indian & Chinese medicine movement practices.  To get stagnant energies shifting.

What are your new years resolutions? Are you wanting to reduce your stress? What can you do to help yourself live a more healthy lifestyle? Are you wanting to learn more about your body & how it functions?

Royalty free image courtesy of pixabay.