29th october 2025 a bit late posting this one- what a week!!!

This week has honestly felt like a movie and not the feel-good kind.

It started off with so much excitement. I was buzzing with ideas planning photo shoots, dreaming up my brand aesthetic and finally feeling like everything was starting to click.
I could almost see the future version of me the one who made it happen.

Then came the gut punch.

After a full month of camming my first proper month I should’ve been getting my first payment.
Instead, I got silence. No payment. No updates. Just that sick feeling in my stomach.
So I reached out to support, hoping for a quick fix… and that’s when it all went downhill.

They told me my account was deactivated and that all my earnings were to be forfeited.
Just like that. No warning. No email. Nothing.

The part that hurts the most? I’ve been investing in myself really trying to do this properly.
I spent nearly £300 on a brand-new 4K webcam so I could offer better quality and feel more professional.

I was so ready for Halloween week I’d decorated my camming area, had loads of ideas for shows, and genuinely couldn’t wait to take part

I wanted to make it special.

And now… it’s all for nothing.

It’s absolutely heartbreaking to feel like all that effort, energy, and hope just vanished overnight.
Maybe this isn’t for me after all. Maybe I’m not built for the uncertainty, the emotional whiplash, or the constant fear of things falling apart no matter how careful I am.

But I’m trying to breathe through it trying to remind myself that setbacks don’t define me. I still have my creativity, my drive, and my voice. And if I’ve learned one thing this week, it’s that I’ll always find a way to turn pain into purpose.

From the highs of creating something beautiful… to the crushing low of feeling invisible this week has been a reminder that even when everything goes wrong, I’ll still keep showing up.
Because that’s what I do.