Profile

So what now?
There are a thousand escort couples working up and down the country, [UPDATE November 2023....that number's now dropped to around 500, with only a handful incl a genuinely bi male] most of them part time amateurs…nothing wrong with that. We on the other hand are experienced Full Time Escorts. To find out more about what this means for you, kindly click the 'Professional Escorts' tab. Your safety & ours is of crucial concern; that is why we are regularly tested & Certed with copies on hand for you to view in case you need re-assurance. That said, anyone is only as good as their last meet. We practice safe sex only, following guidelines recommended to us by sexual health professionals. The more you can tell us about what turns you on, and the more you can communicate your feelings to us, then the better we can deliver upon your expectations. That is truly the route to take for GREAT SEX. Filthy sex. No holes barred sex. Share with us your fantasies…Don’t hold back. Our job is to help you turn your fantasy into reality and to make it happen; We LOVE the thrill of meeting new people and having a good time with them.

We are service providers to all kinds of men from all kinds of backgrounds, with different levels of experience, needs and wants. In general though they fall into 7 categories listed here: (for detailed info on each group please scroll further down the page)

1. Straight
2. Bi-Curious
3. Bisexual
4. Subs
5. CD’s & Sissies
6. Kinksters
7. Phone Sex

In three separate geographic areas:

• the North East

North East incalls are at Bishop Auckland 15 minutes North of Scotch Corner off the A1M/A66. Our local outcall area is displayed on our own website (Tip: get creative with our AW handle in your browser) but basically it includes an area stretching from Leeds in the south, to Carlisle in the west, across to Morpeth in the north and down the east coast as far as Whitby. Outcalls more than 40 miles distant from DL14 will incur extra charges to cover fuel and time.

• UK Nation-Wide

With very little ‘baggage’ in the way of commitments we can easily arrange for long distance bookings at short notice. Recent trips have taken us to Gloucester, Swindon, Worcester, London Stansted Airport, London Stanmore, Soho, Docklands, we've even be as far as Newquay Cornwall for what we call ‘bespoke bookings’. So how does it work?
Many men can’t accommodate due to the fact they’re married or co-habitating. But this doesn’t mean you have to ‘wait until you’re in our area’ or settle with some-one else locally who may not be a good fit! All you need to do is to call us with a date and we’ll do the rest. We’ll book a quality hotel in a location that is discreet & mutually convenient. We’ll bring with us what you request... items like clothing, specialist toys, sex essentials, wigs, electrostim, or items for roleplay. You have nothing to fear when meeting us...we adopt the appearance of a smart middle aged business couple. Minx dresses classily with a hint of cleavage and/or leg but not both. Geeze will be in semi-business attire, with briefcase. Many big hotel chains these days are making life uncomfortable for ‘single females’ and using AI to ‘out’ escorts, often thanking them for their business upon checkout, but warning them quietly not to return. Escort Couples are a rarity though; Feeding hotel staff with misinformation, backed up by our years of experience mean there’s little chance of us being discovered. Just make sure you do your bit by using a VPN & disabling Google for Android! Many men have come unstuck forgetting to take those precautions! A deposit is required for all bespoke bookings...payed by faster payment bank transfer to a vanilla business account, or wallet to wallet direct using crypto, BTC or ETH or USDC. What could be simpler?

Alternatively, if you ARE in a position to accommodate, then we can OUTCALL to you, anywhere mainland UK. Please call for rates and availability. If you make contact early enough in the day, sometimes we can arrange a meeting the SAME DAY. Usually guys are more organised and call for a meeting NEXT DAY or sometime in the FUTURE. #JustDoIt!

• Worldwide

Loneliness is an ever increasing and sad ‘fact of life’. Going on holiday on one’s own, for most folk ain’t a lot of fun. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Don’t leave hooking up with some-one to chance! We can accompany you as Travel Companions. It doesn’t mean we need to be in each other’s pockets 24/7...we can be with you as much or as little as you want; one thing’s guaranteed though...SEXY FUN. Fave destinations include Portugal, Balearics, Canaries, the US, Cornwall & Devon.


We get asked all the time: ‘What are we in to?’
As professional escorts, it’s not about us, it’s about YOU. Any of the activities listed we are happy to indulge in! We may (privately) like some more than others, but that is for us to know about and you to wonder, rest assured, you’ll NEVER KNOW. Check out our extensive feedback & Field Reports for proof of what and how we DELIVER; it’s up there with the best & we’re in the London Top 10. As a rough guide as to what to expect when you meet us, we’ve set out below what’s usually on the menu for the 7 categories mentioned. Every meet is different though & our primary aim is to have FUN & deliver upon your expectations.

Straight Men
If you’re looking for a straight PSE (porn star experience) with Double Penetration, anal, CIM and lots of howling moaning and animalistic B/G sex then we are not the couple for you. We’re far more interested in sex positive guys who respect their partners male or female. If you consider yourself a sensual player genuinely interested in ensuring everyone has a GOOD TIME then we’re happy to talk. If however, you identify as an ALPHA MALE swinger type aka God’s Gift to Sex then please MOVE ON….quickly.
If voyeurism is ‘your thing’ then get in touch; we offer 30 minute incalls for voyeurs. Call to find out more.

Bi-Curious Men
We’ve been escorting for well over a decade now and from Day One, 90% of our lovely clients have been/still are bi-curious or secretly bisexual men. Some guys it's nothing more than a 'little seed' in their head, an 'itch' that has to be scratched, either as a one-off, or periodically. Trust us, that 'little seed' won't go away until you do something about it. Leave it, and it'll keep popping back into your mind, often at the most inopportune moments. One guy's seen us on over 70 occasions and it’s turned into a relationship almost between the 3 of us. And do you know what? Every meet has been different with each one hotter than the previous! Bi-curiosity doesn’t mean you’re on the way to GayTown! Many men yearn to explore same sex desire. It’s not uncommon, it simply means you’re open-minded and ‘sex positive’ which is defined as ‘an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation’. For most, it involves having positive attitudes about sex and feeling comfortable with one’s own sexual identity and with the sexual behaviors of others. It’s reckoned that within the LBGT sector there are four times as many folk bi as there are gay, the difference is, that the majority of them are ‘in the closet’ for fear of adverse reaction to their sexuality. Despite years of liberalisation, with bisexuality between women now seen almost as ‘hip’, the same can't be said for men, where it is still perceived as TABOO for many. You’d probably consider a meet with a solo male escort a step too far...and that’s OK! We understand, and it’s something we come across EVERY DAY. Far better and more comfortable to explore your sexuality in the presence of, and with active encouragement FROM, a kinky, sexually liberated female. Keeping it SAFE, SANE and friendly and without the risk associated with a gay escort. We start off how YOU WANT, and if you subsequently find it’s not for you, we simply revert to an MFM style meet or you can finish with Minx solo. Always bear in mind: NO CONNECTION equals NO ERECTION! Communication is key.

Bisexual Men
Many ‘curious’ guys turn into Bi guys, though some, including Geeze are naturally bisexual from birth. There’s a lot of debate right now about whether it’s a genetic thing. If you’re fully Bi and seek fun with a couple where the guy is the same as you, then you’ve come to the right place. Geeze is fully versatile and a bit Switch in nature. Being ‘jam in the sandwich’ must rank up there with the best in sexual ‘situations’ and is on the list of many guys’ wildest fantasies. Our job is turn those fantasies into reality... it’s a TOUGH JOB, but some-one has to do it! Lol. Alternatively you may have craved intercourse with a hot wife while simultaneously giving oral to a guy...again, all we can say is you’ve cum to the right place, so pick up the phone.

Subs
Submissives! Often the ‘Bi thing’ fits in well with the lifestyle of a subbie, but it’s not a given. Submission is a ‘subset’ of BDSM. A sub takes delight in pleasing their dominant, elevating their partner’s needs above their own. It is not uncommon for people with huge responsibilities to find solace in a D/s situation which may be fleeting, temporary or indeed permanent. We’ve seen Captain’s of Industry, people in Government, senior Police officers, and many ex & serving Military seeking scenarios ranging from roleplay to humiliation and degradation; you need to email us with details of what works for you and how you think we can help, don't hold back!

CD’s & Sissies
It’s fair to say that 6 out of 8 of our ‘categories’ overlap to a degree, and no more so than Subbies, Sissies and CD’s. Feminisation sometimes known as sissification is usually achieved by cross dressing, which can include being made-up, nails done, hair done/wearing a realistic wig, heels etc. Minx is an expert at feminising men; it’s truly amazing what can be achieved over 30-35 minutes; the most macho men can be transformed into something a lot more alluring we kid you not. Feminisation doesn’t stop there though….many sissies seek to be used and ab*sed with so called ‘f**ced fem’ involving penetration using strap-ons or Geeze getting his wicked way. Some meetings are mild with newcomers content to ‘just wear panties’ or ‘stockings’, indeed there are many men who get off by the feel of nylon and never go further. Then there are the meetings we ADORE….full on convincing CD’s who you would never suspect are men; one particular meet in Hertfordshire stands out...a gorgeous cross dresser in a fishnet body stocking, a corset, shiny red heels, lippie, nail polish the works….a transport manger by day, a sexy slut by night, but that’s another story. You’ll have to subscribe to our NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS sexblog to read more about her kind. Simply delicious! We, like you probably, are ourselves on a sexual journey. Years ago we had no interest in this sector, now we can’t get enough of them. CD’s are fun, CD’s are erotic with a capital E...if you’re a Dave by day and Davina by night or something similar we wanna hear from you….

Kinksters
We’re not ones to belong to any ‘scene’ and we’re not particularly gregarious so the likes of ‘fetlife’ or ‘fabswingers’ are DEFINITELY NOT OUR THING. So we don’t pretend to be hardened BDSM’ers. But you don’t have to practise all facets of the ‘lifestyle’ to enjoy kink. Minx in particular has felt drawn to the World of Femdom and has studied the subject over the past 6 years, including being mentored by two of London’s top doms, Miss Kitty Bliss and Mistress Josephine. Building dungeons was a dream we talked about over 10 years ago; experienced in the home improvement industry with access to skilled trades, it was something we discussed at length with one or two people; most laughed at us. But we eventually achieved our aim, opening the Darlington Dungeon & Studio in 2019. It featured high spec equipment, soundproofing, classical music & luxury creature comforts (shabby chic aka the norm for most places is not our style). We had/have a full size bondage bed with suspension sling and pendulum, a low bondage bench, confinement cage, stocks, a throne, a whipping/f*cking bench, a ton of toys including FOUR E-stim Systems power boxes & assorted electrodes, the list goes on AND we’re adding to it all the time. The whole place exuded an air of quiet luxury, but we're not ones to stand still. We sold the place at the top of the commercial market in 2022, & had intended to move immediately into another building on Teesside. With solicitors barely working (WFH allegedly, and legals STILL not completed after 7 months), problems with the vendor and the council, then residential prices starting to fall in a big way locally, we pulled out of the deal. Since Geeze is well versed in 'markets' & politically savvy, we're now playing a waiting game as a repeat of 2008 GFC or worse looks set to play out. We're closely watching auction prices... with many properties not making minimum bids just now. For these reasons, we're moving the key items of dungeon equipment back home, and will shortly be re-opening a compact but smart professionally equipped playroom sometime in March 2023. Eventually, we'll buy another commercial property & Build Back Bigger & Better. Stay tuned guys!

Phone Sex
Talking dirty on the phone is one of our faves. People tell us they can’t see what the attraction is. That’s because they’ve never got off on it. And that’s usually because a lot of phone sex services rip you off with all kinds of lengthy intros. When you do finally get thru you’re often talking to some-one completely different to who you expected, who usually hasn’t a clue about YOUR needs. Good phone sex operators are hard to find, and tbh, one needs to have a lot of EXPERIENCE of SEX to make it happen aka give pleasure culminating in a Happy Ending. There are not too many couples who’ve had intimate dealings with numbers of men running well into four figures...we’re not boasting...we’re just saying that’s a helluva lot of SEXTIME we can draw on to ‘paint you a picture’ within a minute or so of you calling. There’s nothing we like better than hearing a man shout and moan and get off violently over the phone...there’s no pretending...we get involved too. Great phone sex can’t be faked...we urge you to read our phone chat reviews which confirm our abilities in that field. All you have to do is to get tissues, get comfy and dial. Call via AW Direct Chat when green availability message is displayed.

There are LEGAL IMPLICATIONS for us working incalls as a couple so WE WILL NOT DISCUSS SEXUAL SERVICES OR FEES for incalls over a phone, besides, everything you could possibly want to know can be found within the FAQ's and this comprehensive profile. For those men wanting to meet us, please take time to read it before calling to inquire about availability and to book, DON'T TEXT. Be aware that Minx OR Geeze may answer, so don't hang up...we are a couple after all, and BOTH of us are Escorts! If we don't answer it means we're working or can't talk in which case ring back a little later, WE WILL NOT TEXT YOU BACK FOR REASONS OF CONFIDENTIALITY except immediately after a missed call. Alternatively email us through the site. We promise a FAST RESPONSE, so be sure to check back for a reply soon after. If you're the kind of guy who likes chatting to escorts and getting off over the phone with no intention of booking, then please go to DirectChat, get tissues, get comfy and dial.

RESTRICTIONS: Please note: We don't meet under 40's unless you can convince us you're mature and serious backed up by established AW membership with feedback + a sensible email at the very least ~ If you are disabled then you must make that fact known to us when requesting a booking or risk being turned away.

NOTE 1): In line with AW advice regarding NEW legislation all adult images have been moved to Private Gallery
NOTE 2): Uncensored versions of profile pics and Gallery pics can be seen in our Private Gallery.
NOTE 3): Choreographed/scripted Sub Games or Role Play/Alternative practices/Water Sport +10% no exceptions.
NOTE 4): Meetings incorporating electro-sex are charged at +10% enhanced rate due to the consumables used & the high cost of the equipment. Our kit is upscale, British designed and manufactured specifically for e-stim since 2004, CE marked and tested.
NOTE 5): Overnight bookings are from £420, please call for more details as the rates box doesn't let us differentiate between types of overnight bookings.

BESPOKE BOOKINGS ANYWHERE MAINLAND UK, what are they and how does it work?

So what if.... you live hundreds of miles away &/or never have reason to travel to the North East? No problem! Bespoke Bookings are for you! NATIONWIDE >>> They're the ultimate DISCREET SOLUTION where we do all the arranging so you don't have to. The complete package includes us booking a luxury hotel at a mutually convenient location close to you, our travel, & a 3 hour incall or more (subject to neg), no extras, THAT'S IT! What's not to love? We can do SAMEDAY if you contact us before 10AM, NEXT DAY or ADVANCE BOOKING ~ Laid back, totally discreet, no paper trail, Call for price, (around £166/hour equivalent) >>> You're probably already dreaming it but the reality is....You could actually be DOING IT a few short hours from now. Recently we've been booked by guys as far afield as Dartford (several times), Swindon, Lambourne, Newbury, Slough, London Soho, London Docklands, London Stansted, Newmarket & the West Midlands! So, sexy man, what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone or email us via private email address below.

QUESTION: 'So what difference does it make to me that you are a 'Professional Escort couple?'

ANSWER:A lot!
Having been on this site for a number of years we know from our observations/market research and most of all customer feedback that a good proportion of AW service providers are amateurs just out for themselves and to make a fast buck with little interest in delivering a quality experience or value for money. These people often boast how 'filthy' and 'slutty' they are, while charging similar rates to ourselves. Often, we get to meet these escorts' clients, eventually, once they've decided to move on after a less than savory experience. In many cases those 'escort's' limits, in reality, turned out to be quite low, their conversation and life experience somewhat limited, and frequently they'll be working from home or premises and/or in areas that 'leave a lot to be desired'. We believe that if you're paying good money for a service provider's time, then confidentiality and safety are top of the list; you deserve to be treated as a paying customer instead of some-one who merely helps to feed a habit; the transaction should be conducted in a business-like but friendly fashion from the moment of booking to the moment you bid your farewell, and that you are entitled to expect that the escort DOES ACTUALLY DO what they say on the tin! It is for those reasons, that we have set out below a list of things to look for which should help you to sort the wheat from the chaff. It doesn't mean we're 'up ourselves', it means WE CARE

Most of all we're FRIENDLY, (but don't suffer fools or 'prima donnas' gladly!)

Being a professional escort couple.......

....means we live or die on our performance as escorts. It's not possible to make a living in this game from one-offs. Professional Escorts (which means people who make their entire living from the 'oldest profession') need repeat clients to survive the quiet periods; which in turn means we have to deliver a fantastic experience. So take a minute to check out the volume, quality and recency of feedback; you'll see its up there with the best in the business.

Being Professional Escorts means we constantly monitor incoming AW messages from around 0700 till about 2100 daily Monday - Friday. So don't send us a message asking us about meeting later in the morning...then walk away from your computer and not check for a reply until the afternoon!!! We will normally respond within minutes. If not, then we will likely be in a meeting or on the road, in which case we'll still reply, usually within an hour.

Being Professional Escorts means we work at it FULL TIME either directly, or indirectly through constant marketing effort, as well as running our sextoy business FUN-FIVE-0...everything is linked and interconnected, we basically live sleep and breathe the adult industry. So just like anybody else, we like our weekends off, and we like to go to bed at night, so don't waste your time sending silly texts or messages at 2 in the morning asking if we're available. We'll give 100% during our stated hours of work, nothing more, nothing less. YES, we do work some weekends...please check header where we notify which Saturdays and Sundays we're working. We also update the NEWSBAR weekly on the gateway page of our own website...check it for upcoming dates and tours.

Being professional escorts means we are on the radar of the authorities. Which means we have gone to a great deal of trouble to cover EVERYTHING YOU WOULD EVER NEED TO KNOW in our profile here and on our website which can be found with a few clicks of a mouse. So please don't be calling us about fees for our companionship, or about 'what we do'.....talking about those things over a phone-line is ILLEGAL and un-necessary because its clearly on the profile.

Being Professional Escorts mean we have years of experience and can very quickly sort the wheat from the chaff. What do we mean by that? Invariably, the guys who meet us all have one thing in common other than a penis. They have taken the trouble to read the profile, then called us to book with no silly questions, no endless texting or messaging, and without pages of scripted role-play requests....you see....we know that there are many sad folk out there who get off just from writing us or texting us without the balls to ever meet.

If you insist on texting us to ask 'if we are available' then we will ignore it or simply ask you to call. WHY? Because we spend thousands £££s annually on AW 'available today'....if the green icon is showing then guess what...it means we ARE AVAILABLE TODAY...no surprise there then....but are we available for when YOU want? Only by calling to book will you know, because our availability changes by the minute....in this business it is often 'feast or famine'.
Its not unusual for several guys wanting us on the same day at the same time, then there's other days where we're checking to see if the phone's still working its that QUIET! There is no rhyme nor reason as to why that happens, though the more time goes by the more of a pattern emerges... its quite often closely associated with the 'mood' or the 'vibe' in the country at large..a feel good, or not, kind of factor. If you follow us on social media or our blogs you'll see we are very much in tune with current affairs, business and politics...we are constantly evaluating our market and ways we can maintain our position as leaders not followers.

Being Professional Escorts means we take great care and pride in our appearance. You see, we never know within a 12 hour day WHEN we'll be called. It's unrealistic to expect us to sit by a phone all ready to meet at a moments notice. We need a bare minimum of an hour to get ready, WHY? Because we need to shower which includes 'douching', we need to dress appropriately, Minx needs time for make-up/hair to a high standard....guys, think about it...isn't that the very least you'd expect from a professional escort?

Being Professional escorts means we're always prepared to expect the unexpected. So we can cope with pretty much anything out there. From Armageddon to an EXTREME meet to a nervous vanilla first-timer...we have the skills to match. We prefer to meet only with guys over 40, simply because less than 2% of guys under 40 ever turn up (TRUE) plus, we have difficulties empathizing with Millennials....the difference in attitudes is so very marked and in stark contrast with those of GenX and Boomers, and not somewhere we want to be. That doesn't mean we're old fashioned far from it...we are right up to speed with social media, modern life, marketing, web technology etc, its just the reliability and experience factors which come into play...we are interested only in people who'll turn up, people that show some respect for us, who are looking for a sensual experience; and for that matter, people who have the life experience behind them to actually recognise and appreciate what a sensual experience is.

Being Professional Escorts means our own sexuality is constantly evolving...our own limits change over time. We understand that by contacting us you are in effect inviting us into your own private little world and fantasy, we respect that, and we shall do everything in our power to turn that fantasy into reality for you, and into an experience you'll want to repeat over and over.

Being Professional Escorts means this is OUR JOB. It's not about 'what we are into'. It's about us delivering what YOU WANT. Quite possibly you'll ask us for something we're not really personally 'in to' however, we're perfectly capable of delivering that experience seamlessly and without any hint of it 'not being for us'. That is a trait of a truly professional escort. What we most enjoy, is meeting new people and delighting them by delivering them an amazing experience, oh, and the money of course.

Being a Professional Escort Couple sometimes means in practise, two independent escorts who get together and work occasionally as a 'couple'. And it shows, through all too often a disjointed/mediocre/amateurish performance! Rest assured, we are a 100% loved up & genuine 'live together' couple of 15 years, engaged, but not yet married for legal reasons. You'll see that we work very well together as a sexually intuitive team, surely something you would expect when making a date with a couple?

Being Professional Escorts mean we always act in a discreet and Professional manner, but that doesn't mean we're not friendly! Far from it! We have a lifetime of experience behind us including some calamitous & traumatic events, so we are well able to put you at ease and break the ice in seconds! We know that you may well be in a relationship and/or a high profile job so discretion is imperative. We've had clients been 'found out' by angry wives, HOW? Because amateur escorts have texted them at inopportune times, usually touting for business, and the wives have intercepted or seen the text. With us, that will NEVER happen...we will only ever text you immediately after a missed call, OR, if its by prior permission and we know you. Hotel Outcalls? We love them...but again discretion is paramount both for us and for you. We actually have hotels that actively promote us because they know we are discreet, professional, and we bring them quality business. So don't expect to see Minx in thigh high PVC boots, leather mini skirt, gaping blouse and make-up applied with a trowel, expect instead, a classy looking woman, in heels, fashionably but tastefully dressed. If its winter, look out for a mid-length to long coat, and we'll leave you to imagine what may or may not be underneath. He will be in smart semi-business attire complete with brief case. (full of toys and consumables for safe sex)

Being Professional Escorts means sadly we have to put all this stuff on the site, due to ever increasing numbers of idiots and time-wasters...if you are not in that category and you genuinely want to meet us with a minimum of fuss, then you'll understand this is necessary and you'll not be offended. We are not being arrogant and saying we are the best and only option, the only show in town. There are hundreds of people out there who could be compatible and who could easily light your fire! BUT....your problem is finding them. Life is short, and time is PRECIOUS, we'll let our feedback do the talking, and your feet do the walking...to our door, contact us NOW and we'll SEE YOU SOON, Luv fun50couple xx