Escort Profile

Jo V

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Triple jibber jabbered ♥ Dinosaurs and peanut butter ♥

Gender Female
Age 36
Orientation Bi-sexual
Country United Kingdom
Region East of England (Anglia)
Town Incalls In Colchester :)
Nationality British
Postcode CO4

My Upcoming Incall & Outcall Availability.



First things first... Willkommen! And bienvenue! Welcome! Hello! I'm Jo :) You can read all about me in my "Jo Info" tab!

 

For your viewing pleasure, convenience and perusal... here's when I'm free over the next couple of weeks...


Upcoming:

TBC


As you can see, I usually start work at 11am and finish at 5pm. I can and will occasionally take bookings outside of these hours BUT I need plenty of notice and there WILL be an additional 50 per hour charge for incalls and 100 per hour for outcalls.

I only take one booking in a 24 hour period so I tend to get booked up quite quickly. If you are able, it's best to book in advance.

To enquire about a booking please contact me by either emailing me or phoning me if we have never met before.
If you text or WhatsApp me you will be ignored.

Disclaimer:



The boring bit...

Sorry but I'm going to be that guy.

I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for anything I consider to be harassment, a safety or a privacy issue.

I will terminate any booking prior to or during as is my right. No refunds will be given.

You are warned once and this is said warning. I will be upfront and honest with you if you are with me so let's keep this a happy place!



How Do You Do?



So... you want to know a little bit about me huh? Well, you're in luck and you've come to the right place haha!

I'm a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in a Protagonist's world! Quirky, atypical and free spirited I have a natural joie de vive.

I think the most accurate description a friend gave me was that I'm a "Naturally sunny person with a dizzying enthusiasm for life fused with a childlike sense of wonder layered over a deeply hidden streak of pure evil." 'Bout right! Except maybe not *deeply* hidden mwahaha.

I'm a bit of an English rose, pasty as fuck, burns like a lobster in the sun; you know the type. 50% Welsh, 30% Geek, 100% awesome. Nonsensical, mildly eccentric and just the right amount of ditsy and weird.

If you hadn't realised by now, I'm also the exception to the 'girls aren't funny' rule. I don't take myself very seriously and I have a wholly inappropriate sense of humour...

I really am a happy-go-lucky dork who loves a bit of a chit chat and I've been told I have an innate ability to put people at ease, that said I'm non-judgemental, fine with a bit of silence and I'm a very open-minded person.

I do not have a filter and I have the mouth of a sailor so you might need to prepare yourself for that hahaha!

If it's an authentic "Girlfriend Experience" you're looking for, step right up, you've come to the right place. With my long blonde hair and a cheeky twinkle in my bright blue eyes, I am the "Girl Next Door" you've been looking for.

No holds barred here...

I'll also quite happily tell you to "pick your socks up", "put the fucking toilet seat down" and "Oh my GOD I'm the only one in this house who ever does anything!!!" ... while passively aggressively picking up the bathmat you left on the floor... Hahahahaha.

Oh... I always keep my socks on... and they rarely match.


Incalls & Outcalls.


My incalls are based in the Highwoods (CO4) area of Colchester. There's a shit tonne of free parking here and a Tesco Extra just around the corner if you rock up early and want to pop somewhere for a waddle.

My little house is discreet, clean and homely*. There's access to all of the rooms... even the one with Nicholas the badger and Fuckface the owl.

Don'y worry, stumbling accidentally into the wrong room won't find you up against a 6ft Russian Foot Soldier! I work independently and of my own accord so there won't be any pimps or the such like hanging about!

I've always got schnacks and drinks available so you don't need to do the awkward british 'Oh just a glass of water please' thing, I basically need an IV of coffee and Pepsi Max attached to me 24/7 so if you want to join me in a cuppa please do!

I do smoke so don't feel like you need to take the morning off nicotine and scrub your mouth clean before you see me, I'd rather you didn’t bring your shit hurling tobacco monkey with you anyway. If you want to have a post coital ciggie, just let me know!

If you'd like to have a shower at mine, that's fine! I usually offer anyway and I'll tell you if you smell so we're all good haha!

*full of all of my shit

I'm usually available for outcalls with a little bit of notice - my outcall rate covers anywhere within a 30-minute drive... If you are further away, chuck your post code in your message to me and I'll do some mafffs.



15 Minute Bookings.



In a standard 15 minute booking; at the rate specified on my profile I offer the following services only:

-Kissing
-Oral
-Reverse Oral
-Hand Relief
-A Massage


Special Offer.



Back by popular demand is my infamous "Blow 'n' Go!"...

I offer a "Blow 'n' go" service for 75. If you're short on time but still want to have some fun- this might just be for you! Exactly as it sounds- just oral without and you can tag on CIM for 25 extra too. :)



Enjoys

  • Oral
  • Voyeurism
  • Watersports
  • Spanking
  • Exhibitionism
  • French Kissing
  • Fetish
  • Depilation
  • MMF 3Somes
  • FFM 3Somes
  • CIM
  • Oral without Protection
  • Massage
  • Being Filmed
  • Swallow
  • Deep Throat
  • Spanking (giving)
  • Domination (giving)
  • CIM (at discretion)
  • Swallow (at discretion)
  • Oral without (at discretion)
  • French Kissing (discretion)
  • Receiving Oral
  • Prostate Massage
  • Striptease
  • Naturism/Nudism
  • Foot Worship
  • Modeling
  • Face Sitting
  • Dogging
  • Sauna / Bath Houses
  • Snowballing
  • Penetration (Protected)
  • Cross Dressing
  • Travel Companion
  • Dinner Dates
  • Food Sex/Sploshing
  • Smoking (Fetish)
  • Car Meets
  • Disabled Clients
  • Hand Relief
  • Fingering/Finger Play
  • Silent Caller (Phone Chat)

I meet with

  • Male
  • Female
  • Couple MF
  • Couple MM

Incall rates

Duration Cost
½ Hour £120
1 Hour £180
2 Hours £360
3 Hours £510
4 Hours £610
Overnight £1500
15 mins £95
1½ Hours £280
¾ Hour £150

Outcall rates

Duration Cost
½ Hour £190
1 Hour £250
2 Hours £430
3 Hours £580
4 Hours £680
Overnight £2000
1½ Hours £350
¾ Hour £220

FAQs

Q : Can I finger you?

A : I'm a girl who knows what she likes and unfortunately I don't have a "G-Spot" up my floof so there's not a lot to poke about in there for. Also, I don't really want thrush but thanks for the offer!

Q : Do you have any age, race or disability limitations?

A : Absolutely not. If you are polite, respectful and over the age of 18; I am more than happy to see you. :)

Q : I'd like to buy you a present, what things do you like?

A : Gifts are never expected but are always appreciated. I adore Gilly Hicks lingerie, silver jewellery, flowers, white chocolate and sweet rose wine!. :)

Q : Are you discreet?

A : Absolutely. 100%. I'm sorry, who are you?

Q : How do I make a booking with you?

A : If my phone number is visible, call me! :) My phone doesn't accept calls from withheld numbers though. If I don't answer. you can try again a bit later or email/text/Whatsapp me with the date, time and duration you'd like to book and I'll get back to you ASAP.

Q : Are you available at short notice?

A : Yes! But I do at least 30 minutes notice prior to a booking so that I can faff about getting ready!

Q : May I make an outfit request?

A : Nope! I've been dressing myself since I was 4. Pretty sure I can handle it on the day hahahahaha!

Q : Do you have any toys?

A : Shit loads! From Kinder eggs... oh, you mean those kinds of toys? Haha, Oh yes indeed! I have an array of toys to use on you!

Q : Do you do facials?

A : No, but I can recommend a really good Health Spa that does. Please try to aim your jizz below my neckline and out of my hair.

Q : Do you do anal?

A : No. That's where poo comes from :(

Q : Do you squirt?

A : No, I have full control of my bladder thanks but I do offer watersports!

Q : Do you do bareback?

A : Only for the very reasonable fee of £6,000,000 and a real T-Rex who can clap his hands.

Q : Do you use WhatsApp?

A : Yes I do but new clients need to phone me or email me first to book... have a goose at my handy tab that gives you the idiot's guide on how to book!

Q : May I film our meeting?

A : Absolutely!! Filming and photos incur an additional charge of £50 per device... and I want a copy too! :)

Q : Can I cum in your mouth?

A : Yes, at my discretion.... CIM also incurs an additional charge of £25... per... urm... mouthful... Hahahahhaa!!

Q : Will you wee on me?

A : Yep! Watersports incurs an additional charge of £25... Let me know when you book that you want it so I can prepare my bladder!!

Q : May I take you with me to a social event?

A : Hell yes you can!

Q : Can I have a discount?

A : Really? Come on... don't be that guy.

Interview

Q : What is your starsign?

A : Cancer June 22 - July 22

Q : What is your Primary Language?

A : English

Q : What is your Secondary Language?

A : Passive Aggressive Silence

Q : How would you describe your non-binary gender?

A : Cisgender

Q : If other, please specify:

A : Female

Q : What is your favourite colour?

A : Rainbow!!

Q : Who is your favourite celebrity?

A : Derren Brown

Q : What is your best feature?

A : Eyes

Q : What is your worst feature?

A : Feet

Q : What three words best describe your personality?

A : Fun, Quirky, Silly

Q : What is your favourite food?

A : Italian

Q : What is your favourite drink?

A : Moscato

Q : What is your favourite film?

A : The Devil Wears Prada

Q : What is your favourite TV programme?

A : Grey's Anatomy

Q : What are your favourite flowers?

A : Gerberas

Q : What is your favourite perfume?

A : Viktor & Rolf - BonBon. Anna Sui - Sui Dreams

Q : What is your favourite gift?

A : Flowers and Money ngl

Q : What is your favourite holiday destination?

A : The Bahamas

Q : What is your ethnicity?

A : Caucasian (White)

Q : What is the colour of your eyes?

A : Blue

Q : What is the colour of your hair?

A : Blonde

Q : What length is your hair?

A : Long

Q : How would you describe your body type?

A : Slim

Q : How tall are you?

A : 5'5"

Q : How much do you weigh?

A : 7st

Q : What is your leg measurement?

A : 32"

Q : What is your shoe size?

A : 6

Q : What is your dress size?

A : 6

Q : What size is your chest?

A : 32"

Q : What is your waist measurement?

A : 24"

Q : What is your hips measurement?

A : 30"

Q : What is your bra cup-size?

A : C

Q : How would you describe the size of your breasts?

A : Medium

Q : Are your breasts natural or enhanced?

A : Enhanced

Q : How is your pubic hair fashioned?

A : Trimmed

Q : Do you smoke?

A : Yes

Q : Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

A : Both

Q : If you have tattoos or piercings, how discreet are they

A : Discrete

Q : Do you have any birth-marks or scars? If so, size and location?

A : I have 4 scars! :)

Q : What times are you always available?

A : Between 10am and 6pm

Q : Will you do overnight bookings?

A : Yes

Q : List of Towns/Areas you will visit

A : Essex, Suffolk and London

Q : How long are you prepared to travel for?

A : 2hrs

Q : Nearest rail station?

A : Colchester North

Q : What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you in public?

A : I once got caught having sex on a balcony at a Gala Dinner.

Q : What sort of men turn you on?

A : Men who are kind, friendly, intelligent and generous.

Q : What sort of women turn you on?

A : Confident women who love themselves modestly.

Q : What is the most memorable sexual experience you’ve ever had?

A : Gala Dinner... see above.

Q : What is the most outrageous thing that you’ve done sexually (be honest!)

A : Having a foursome with one very lucky man and two gorgeous women.

Q : Where would you most like to have sex?

A : On a chartered yacht.

Q : What is your favourite sexual position?

A : Missionary.

Q : What is your second favourite sexual position?

A : Doggy.

Q : What is your biggest turn on?

A : An intelligent conversation over a glass or three of wine.

Q : The most sensitive part of my anatomy is?

A : My eyeball.

Q : Describe the experience (when and where)

A : ??

Q : What is your favourite sexual fantasy?

A : Now that's a tricky one!!

Q : How often do you masturbate?

A : However often I need to!

Q : What sexual activity do you enjoy the most?

A : Kissing. Good kissing though!!

Q : When is your libido at its highest?

A : Most of the time.

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