It's been a while since I posted a blog on here, and this is atopic I think a lot about, and I have pretty strong opinions about.

Bare back sex. We all love it, right? I know that I certainly do.
I’m afraid that this might become a condescending lecture, but please, stick with me.

How often do you go for a drive without your seatbelt on? How often do you get on your bike without a helmet? How many times have you travelled to an area with Malaria without Anti-Malaria tablets? How much time do you spend weighing up the risks and the benefits of bare back sex with an almost stranger who you may or may not ever see again?

I was in a relationship for about 5 years, so have only recently come back “on scene” so to speak in terms of sex in both my personal life and the requests of punters here. I am SHOCKED by the number of guys making reverse bookings requesting bare back sex. These aren’t people who have known each other for a while and have built up an element of trust. These are people seeking strangers for risky sex. Sometimes they offer a premium – a few extra ten’s of pounds. Or maybe, the luckier women get offered a few hundred extra. I guess this is where the risks vs benefits come in. Benefits = an hour or a few hours of uninterrupted, skin on skin sex, the kink or the intimacy of cumming inside her, the memories for the wank bank. The risks? I’m not sure what people think of in terms of risk if they are willing to have bareback sex with a stranger.

Recently, in my personal life, I was in bed with a guy – he knew I was coming over, he knew I was planning on staying the night. I asked him if he had a condom – he said he didn’t think he did. I got one out of my bag. It was surprising how quickly he found his own stock of condoms when he needed a new one quickly. Did he really think it was going to be that easy to fuck me without a condom? Another guy got childishly angry with me when I got pissed off at him for persistently trying to fuck me without a condom. He didn’t get invited back. It was a stark contrast to Paris. The beautiful Parisian who got an invite back to my hotel room, asked for a shower, and, whilst I was showering, he got the condoms and the bottles of water ready by the bed.

There are approx. 38,000,000 working age people in the UK – let’s assume that this is the general body of people also having sex in the UK (yes, an estimate, yes, a generalisation). Only about 3.5 million people got an STD test in 2015. That’s a hell of a lot of people having no idea what their sexual health status is. In most London boroughs in 2015 there were more than 1000 new STI diagnosis for every 100,000 people. And that is just the people getting tested that are getting tested!

I have no experience with most STI’s, but through my travels and volunteer work, I have seen people living with the effects of HIV. Actually, it is more accurate if I say I have seen people dying of the consequences of HIV. I’m pretty sure that none of them would have said the benefits of unprotected sex outweighed the risks.
So, in conclusion of my lecture:
- Think of the risks and the potential outcome before you have unprotected sex
- Go and get tested (I love an early Saturday morning trip to Dean Street, combined with brunch at Muriel’s kitchen – feel free to join me!)
- Don’t be a twat – have the discussion about protection
- Try and encourage me not to move to Paris……..